Nintendo Character Profile | King Bowser

Bowser
King of the Koopa Klan…

Profile by Adam Riley [ jesusraz :: Senior Editor ]

Introduction
Every good guy has to have a mortal enemy, against which they must battle on a regular basis, and no matter how often they defeat said nemesis, the next adventure is bound to feature an evil revival via any possible story-telling method. Not believing Donkey Kong to be sufficiently wicked, Nintendo devised a creature that could fill anyone with fear and utter dread in one simple glance, thus Bowser was born…

Statistics

Age: Being a dinosaur, except nothing like Yoshi in any way, Bowser is old…very old! It cannot be determined exactly how old he is. What do you think we are going to do, waltz up to him and ask? Or perhaps count the rings around his legs to work it out…? Pah!

Species: Dinosaurus reptilius, the scary variety!

Location: When he is not locked away in the depths of Bowser Castle, torturing his vile minions (Goombas, Koopa Troopers and even his own children…the monster!), the gargantuan green meanie can be found loitering on golf course, cluttering tennis courts, trying to ruin various parties.

Birth: Just look at him…For goodness sake man, do you really want to imagine what his mother looked like?! And then ask yourself this, do you also want to know the in-depth details of the event that left five people blinded and another mortally wounded??

Main Features: Bowser’s dominant feature is the large amount of spikes on his back and tail. His teeth and nails/claws are so sharp and shiny that merely looking at them in the wrong light can leave you with a painful slash across the arm, face, chest or anywhere else. Apart from his leathery skin, though, and deep red eyes, you may notice some ginger hair atop that large-sized head of his. But for the sake of argument (and subsequent death) it is ‘Strawberry Blonde’…

Clothing: Nothing but the sharp spikes on his back and a few spiky collars! Then again that should be pretty obvious for someone of his size; he has had so many problems in Marks & Spencers that he has basically given up.. After all, is anyone honestly going to laugh at him for being naked?

Concept
It would seem that no Princess is safe. Zelda is constantly hounded by the King of Thieves, Ganondorf and Princess Peach/Toadstool/Whatever is pestered by big bad Bowser. Not a day goes by when Bowser is not plotting some devilish scheme to whisk her away and throw the Mushroom Kingdom into complete disarray. Ooh, the scoundrel…

Appearances
Bowser is a veteran Nintendo character, first appearing way back in Super Mario Bros on the NES and subsequently causing havoc for Mario Mario, Luigi Mario, Princess Toadstool and the entirety of the Mushroom Kingdom for the next two decades. Below are some of his finest moments:

Super Mario Bros - Super Mario World - Super Mario 64 - Super Mario Sunshine (NES, SNES, N64, GC)

Super Mario RPG - Paper Mario 2 (SNES, N64, GBA, GC)

Mario Party series (N64, GC)

Game & Watch Gallery series (GBC, GBA)

Mario Tennis (N64, GBC)

Mario Golf (N64, GBC, GC, GBA)

Super Mario Kart - Mario Kart: Double Dash!! (GC)

Best Appearance
Unfortunately, as with the majority of bad guys, Bowser has terrible luck when facing his arch-enemy, Mario. Therefore his appearances never really turn out very positive…Whatever the case, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga, the third Mario RPG that graced the GBA in late 2003, has to be his most impressive performance, if only for the sheer comedic factor. As usual he comes to kidnap the Princess, only to discover her voice has been replaced with explosives! Thus he ends up joining Mario & Luigi in the quest to retrieve her vocals, just so that afterwards he can kidnap her in the safe knowledge that she will not destroy his beloved castle by opening her mouth! Classic Nintendo crazy humour…

Don't Mention...
Wario & Waluigi. Recent claimers to the throne of nastiness, these cumbersome fools have actually lowered the meaning of ‘evil’ by making complete idiots of themselves on a regular basis. Bowser was sitting around in his castle one day, muttering and grumbling about what can be done to be rid of them, when a golf ball came flying through one of the windows and cracked him in the eye. Wondering what the hell was going on he roared in anger, kicked the ball back from whence it came and proceeded to investigate the situation. Sure enough it was the bumbling duo of Warios.

Donkey Kong has Bowser’s respect, heck even Wart does to a small degree. These two idiots, however, give King Koopa stomach cramps…

In closing...
He is big, scary and breathes fire. What other information do you really require? Other than the fact that he does not seem to be going anywhere any time soon. Mario will always have to watch his back when this lumbering monstrosity is around and, after Super Mario Sunshine’s proceedings, Bowser is clearly training his son up in the event of his passing. King Koopa’s reign will go on for a very long time…in some form or other!