DVD Movie Review | Ted 2 (Lights, Camera, Action!)

Ted 2 (UK Rating: 15)

John (Wahlberg) is now divorced, but Ted (voiced by Seth McFarlane) has married the leggy love of his life, Tammi-Lynn (Jessica Barth). Not that wedding bliss lasts long for the furry one as the couple are soon hurling abuse at each other like guests on Jeremy Kyle USA until they hit on the perfect way to get their relationship back on track: a baby. Their efforts to have IVF, and then adopt fail, but things get even worse. Ted has slipped under the governmental radar so far, yet now the authorities have spotted him, they have decided he's property, not a person. That means no baby, no marriage, no job…nothing - so he decides to challenge them in court.

The inevitable question is whether seeing the original is a pre-requisite, and the short answer is: no. True, there are some returning characters aside from Ted himself, John, and Tammi-Lynn. The most chuckle-worthy is Sam J. Jones (the one and only Flash Gordon), playing a priest wearing a clerical stole embroidered with the word "Flash." If only Brian Blessed's Prince Vultan had burst onto the screen, declaring "Gordon's alive!"  No such luck, though...

The premise is pretty much the same as the original Ted, with an onslaught of bad-taste jokes and language to match. Those of a more sensitive disposition could easily be appalled at the language, grossness, and sheer crassness and cruelty of the humour, even though they can - and do - raise a stifled snort or two.

All of which points to Ted 2's other issue: the idea behind the franchise has run out of steam and there's simply not enough left in the tank to sustain a second movie. Seth McFarlane, whose name is all over it - director, producer, writer, voice of Ted - needs to be told, and forcibly so. That same person also needs to teach him the fine art of knowing when to stop: knowing when a film is too long to be consistently funny and understanding when a joke has reached the end of its natural life.

3/10

Bad

On the surface, Ted 2 appears to be more of the same, but it doesn't take long to realise that it's worse. Unfunny, more often than not, and frequently as flat as pancake, it looks like nothing short of a vanity project for McFarlane. Even those with a fondness for the foul-mouthed bear will think it's time he was put back in the toy box. A genuine case of fur and loathing in Boston.