Demetrios: The Big Cynical Adventure (PC) Review

By Athanasios 31.03.2017

Review for Demetrios: The Big Cynical Adventure on PC

Globe-trotting, meeting weird characters, solving riddles, unveiling ancient mysteries - from Broken Sword: The Shadow of the Templars to The Longest Journey, these are some old and classic constants of the point-and-click adventure formula. Now, take these, make the protagonist a "charming," worthless loser, and fill the whole thing with toilet humour. The result? Demetrios: The Big Cynical Adventure! After checking out the PS Vita version, Cubed3 gets its hands (and eyes, and ears) dirty once more.

Bjorn, the protagonist of this tale, is a pig… but that's okay, as pretty much everyone is in this world. Yeah, he is a tad "better" at eating week-old food from the floor, and, yeah, he is likely the biggest loser in the universe, but he is actually the least unpleasant character here, in his Adam Sandler/Jack Black-like underdog kind of ways. In fact, while his neighbour Sandra is put in this story to create contrast with her out-of-place "charm," she is way too colourless to stand out in a world filled with fart jokes… and then some.

Screenshot for Demetrios: The Big Cynical Adventure on PC

Oh, yeah. In case you are unaware, this is filled with toilet humour. So much, in fact, that the developer has actually included a setting that enables turning it off… although that leaves a completely lifeless experience. The thing is, though, that the comedy included here was never funny to begin with. It's not bad or cringy, and some jokes are actually worthy of a few chuckles, but it's nothing more than that.

Therefore, after the excitement of Snow White sex tapes, "clever" anagrammatisms (Nintenga instead of Nintendo), and stupid deaths/game over screens wears off, the player is left with an extremely simplistic, and, in all honesty, ugly point-and-click adventure… and no, the fact that this is a one-man job is not an excuse for the amateurish, freeware-like audio-visuals, as many indie developers have proven time and time again.

Screenshot for Demetrios: The Big Cynical Adventure on PC

What's the story? Bjorn is tasked with finding out why a burglar entered his smelly abode, stealing a seemingly unimportant item in the process - and thus begins a Broken Sword-like mystery-thriller... At least, right after wasting a couple of hours in some of the most boring fetch quests ever conceived - and it's not as if once Demetrios' storyline starts rolling things get any better.

The thing with this is that it's sort of a visual novel/adventure blend, in that it has tons of dialogue, and this is bad for numerous reasons, with the first being that the typewriter sound effect that plays when viewing a dialogue sequence will get on your nerves. The second one, however, is that few of them are any fun to read through, since they fall into two big categories: bland and "funny."

Screenshot for Demetrios: The Big Cynical Adventure on PC

The vast majority of character interactions here exist neither to move the plot any further, nor to create any character development. Their only purpose is simply to be funny, and, unfortunately, as mentioned before, the humour at hand isn't exactly award-winning material - and that's not because of its vulgar nature. Toilet humour, like any kind of humour, can be divided between good… and bad.

It's pretty sad that the most enjoyable aspect of this title is actually its hint mechanic. In order to get a little bit of help (rarely needed, to be honest), Bjorn must find some cookies that are placed in almost every single area, and then eat some. This is a pretty well-done system - not just because it helps with the pacing, but also due to the fact that, while a simple "mini-game," it can be quite addictive, as well as challenging - although it's also easy to cheat and just load a previous save after getting the necessary help.

Screenshot for Demetrios: The Big Cynical Adventure on PC

Cubed3 Rating

4/10
Rated 4 out of 10

Subpar

Demetrios: The Big Cynical Adventure disappoints on almost all fronts. It doesn't look or sound good (not even for its über-indie production values), its tiny content is stretched over too many hours, the "puzzles" are either easy, boring, or both, and the core of it all, the toilet humour, just doesn't have what it takes to keep things interesting.

Developer

Cowcat

Publisher

Cowcat

C3 Score

Rated $score out of 10  4/10

Reader Score

Rated $score out of 10  0 (0 Votes)

European release date Out now   North America release date Out now   Japan release date Out now   Australian release date Out now   

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