Bayonetta (PC) Review

The face of a porn star, and the moves of the best pole dancer ever, Bayonetta shakes her money makers while doing her gun-zitsu thing, with two revolvers in her hands, and two being part of her high heels. Butterflies dance around her, she bleeds rose petals instead of blood, her hair can activate portals that summon demons from beyond to munch her bigger foes, and she does all her killing while posing at the camera. Obviously, this heroine doesn't take herself too seriously. She is a pure, unapologetic show-off… and that's just plain awesome. There are some signs of effort when it comes to the storytelling department, but, make no mistake, Bayonetta is not about the plot.

It surely has its moments, as the whole caught-between-heaven-and-hell thingy is quite interesting, and the lore offered will please those who are into this stuff, but video game storylines have seen better days. Thankfully, those who won't be able to stand the many boring and cringe-inducing cut-scenes at hand can simply push 'Skip' and just sit back and enjoy what this was always all about, curvy as… err, frenetic action!

Bayonetta's hack 'n' slashing is insanely fast-paced, and, due to its extremely responsive controls, very enjoyable. Furthermore, while it's easy to pick up and play, it's also a title that's hard to master, as it has lots of depth when it comes to its battle mechanics. Furthermore, it's definitely a game of skill, made for those who like trying to get better with each try, with an insanely addictive reward system that requires speed, technique, as well as perfect evasion skills. All you button mashers out there, just turn around and start running.

Now, a frequent problem in the genre is repetition, but, luckily, this rarely even happens throughout this fantasy journey, as the level structure is such that every step poses a different challenge, whether that's a new angelic bloke to slay, a mid-stage boss, or something fancier, like a little bit of puzzle-solving, exploration, and platforming… Although these are things the game could definitely live without.

There are sections that throw the main gameplay style out of the window, wasting your time with pointless and boring things like hyper-speed bike rides, for instance - not to mention some irritating life-or-death QTEs that can ruin a perfect run just because your timing in pressing 'X' wasn't 100% perfect. Generally, Bayonetta doesn't fare as well in the extra things it tries to fuse into the rest of it all, but, thankfully, it certainly does so on the hack 'n' slashing front.

Apart from those previously mentioned bits of annoyance, the relatively long journey towards the final battle at hand is definitely one of the best in the genre, and most of its levels are very revisiting-friendly. Even better? The additional goodies that can be bought raise the replay value sky-high, as there are many skills, weapons, and magic gadgetry at the in-game shop to enjoy.

…Most of you already know all this, though, right? What you don't know is that the new PC port is the best version of Bayonetta yet. It is better in terms of visuals, because of the new HD textures, but mostly due to the much needed increase in contrast, as well as its flawless frame rate, and, finally, it's much faster, as loading times have been reduced to a handful of seconds. Sure, it lacks the Nintendo-only extra goodies, but that's not really a problem… is it?