Metropolis: Lux Obscura (Nintendo Switch) Review

By using comic book panels to tell its dark and gritty tale, this manages to capture the feel of a story that unfolds inside the bowels of a dirty metropolis. Every man is a filthy criminal, every woman a provocative floozy (femme fatale, if you want to be polite), and the protagonist, Lockhart, or... *cough*hard as some women call him, is certainly no angel - in fact, he is quite the unlikeable fellow, which is certainly not a good omen. Convicted for a crime he (supposedly) didn't commit, and right after doing time, he sets out to find who framed him. Now, while Metropolis: Lux Obscura is a world full of violence and sex, strangely enough, it's more of the latter.

Almost every female character will undress for Lockhart, almost awkwardly fast, to be honest, and luckily, the babes on offer are finely crafted, especially when it comes to their top assets (something quite common when a Russian artist is in charge, for some reason), and it's quite funny how the Nintendo Switch version is actually the uncensored one. Don't expect something more risky than a bunch of nipples, as a well as a few carefully obstructed sex scenes, though.

The problem is that, despite how good this looks, the story is utter trash. No, scrap that - it's not trash, it's forgettable. The protagonist enters a bar, acts tough, fights with a man, and that's it. He then walks into a strip club, has some good 'ol manly fun, wrestles with another guy, and it is time to move on to the next scene. He talks with the local mob boss, he is given a task, aaand cut! In other words, it's hard to care about what's going on, because nothing is actually going on.

By choosing what "level" to visit first, you can reach one out of the various endings, but nothing of importance happens in any of them. More importantly, though, the scenes that lead to the finale(s) are nothing more than tiny intros to the gameplay section, with battles being done through a simple, run-of-the-mill game of Match-3 puzzling. Thus, instead of interactions having any meaningful impact, they are all just an excuse for the "game" to begin.

As for the gameplay… it's Candy Crush. No, this isn't a joke. This is simply Candy Crush, but, instead of jelly beans and lollipops, there are fists, boots, and revolvers that damage the enemy, med kits for healing, angry faces that increase your strength, and cop badges that damage you. Finally, upon completing a battle, you get to choose amongst a couple of passive skills that increase fighting prowess in all sorts of ways…

…and it's all boring. This kind of gameplay is fun for when riding the subway, but it is way too simplistic for something that's supposed to offer more than that, and which carries a price-tag. The real problem, however, is how unpredictable it all is, as it's possible to lose just because of the randomness of the incoming icons that drop down after making a match. In conclusion: forgettable storytelling, subpar/unbalanced gameplay, and well-drawn nipples.

Should some slack be cut due to the low price and extremely short length of it all? No. Not even one bit, as there have been even cheaper titles out there that are actually entertaining. Furthermore, while this is indeed a short ride, it isn't replay-friendly, as starting all over will have you do pretty much the same things, as the ability to choose a differing path is mostly an illusion, as the 'hero' will inevitably pay a visit to almost every single area before reaching an ending.