Biker Mice From Mars (Nintendo DS) Review

By Matthew Evans 08.09.2007 7

Review for Biker Mice From Mars on Nintendo DS

There comes a point in most peoples' lives where they are old enough to use nostalgia as fact. When you are young you can use your memory to argue about whether something is better or not but as you grow older there is no arguing, things WERE better in your day. It's like when your dad goes on about the “noise” you are listening and in his day they had proper music. I've recently reached that point, though thankfully the facts back up my nostalgia; in the 80's we had Transformers, Thundercats, Centurions, Visionaries and shed loads more top quality animated entertainment what did the 90's spawn? Fantastic Four, SWAT Cats, The New Adventures of He-Man, Pokemon, and one of the worst...the Biker Mice from Mars. And that level of nostalgia doesn't just apply to cartoons, games get that treatment as well.

If you've never heard of the Biker Mice from Mars you are one of the lucky ones. It was essentially one of the many crap cartoons that followed in the wake of the quite watchable and enjoyable Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles. No, that is not a typo, we didn't get to have ninja turtles in the UK we had hero turtles...anyway, back to the cruddier anthropomorphic characters of our featured game. We meet our rodent heroes on their home planet of Mars as an army of alien cats have besieged their fortress, so it's up to you to stop them as well as complete some other nonsensical story elements by riding a bike and beating up bad guys in level after level of repetitive, boring action.

Screenshot for Biker Mice From Mars on Nintendo DS

Now I'm not sure if it's just nostalgia setting in again, but I remember 16-bit games looking better than this – okay, I know that the Biker Mice from Mars is using fancy polygon based graphics from 3D Playstation and N64 games, but this is a 2D brawler on a small screen. Graphics like that are wasted, they lack the definition and character of 2D sprites, which also considering that this is based off of a kids cartoon would have been far more appropriate and a far greater improvement. The audio is slightly worse: the technical quality is good but the music is crud and the odd “Biker Mice from Mars” repeated every minute or so isn't increasing my love for the audio, and them using the same sound affect for the majority of the enemies is just plain annoying.

Screenshot for Biker Mice From Mars on Nintendo DS

Let's get onto the fun stuff, or more appropriately the lacking in fun-stuff. The vast majority of the game plays as a side scrolling brawler where you get to jump a bit and it's easy to get ratted off by the amount of money you spend on the game (and no that wasn't a pun, I'm just not allowed to use the F or P words in a review). One of my first Mega Drive games was Streets Of Rage and you could move in eight directions in that game; Biker Mice from Mars doesn't even allow you to aim up when you get hold of a laser gun, which is even more annoying when a good few of the bad guys can fly. For Pete's sake, you can't even do a ducking punch or kick, you instantly stand back up and the whole point is defeated. Oh and the motorcycle levels aren't fun either because the bikes handle awfully, nothing else needs to be said about it. If you can't control the character you can't enjoy the game.

Screenshot for Biker Mice From Mars on Nintendo DS

What we are left with is a cheaply made game being sold for more than it should be in an era that has moved away from linear brawlers whose only attempts at increasing difficulty is to throw progressively higher numbers of the same enemy at you until the odds are so against you you are bound to lose all your energy. That's another thing, there are no lives or continues, you die and you just restart that level from the last checkpoint, where's the challenge in that? What's the point in playing this game? There isn't any and there are far better games than this on the market, so just avoid this like the plague.

Screenshot for Biker Mice From Mars on Nintendo DS

Cubed3 Rating

1/10
Rated 1 out of 10

Awful

For all its flaws it's a really good game, 10/10...only joking, it's awful but luckily not as awful as Ys Strategy.

Developer

The Game Factory

Publisher

The Game Factory

Genre

Driving

Players

1

C3 Score

Rated $score out of 10  1/10

Reader Score

Rated $score out of 10  5/10 (2 Votes)

European release date Out now   North America release date Out now   Japan release date Out now   Australian release date Out now   

Comments

Its not even a crap movie tie-in, its a crap tie-in for a crap tv show.

Matthew Evans [ Writer :: Moderator :: King of Impartiality :: Lord of the 15min Thread ] As the wind blows the sand to cover the camel's tracks so does time move to cover the Lord's.
Rejoice for the Lord will taketh his quarter and give much back to his followers.

I played this... and I must say, it was a great fun

...

simply because it was so horrible.

Well I was never a fan of the TV show, so I was never going to touch this...thanks for the warning anyway, though, Matt. :Smilie

ROCK AND RIDE!!

Yeah the show was a bit shit, weird how the decided to bring it back.

XBL Gamertag: James2t3

This like many other cartoon shows back them was just a rip-off of the ninja turtles.

wow... great kudos for being so blunt and rip this thing of, giving it a total of 1 (ONE!!!).
I saw a video a year back here on C

I find your lack of faith disturbing!

Laurelin, you think I'm a poor fella for reviewing this? This is the SECOND lowest score I've given to a game.

Matthew Evans [ Writer :: Moderator :: King of Impartiality :: Lord of the 15min Thread ] As the wind blows the sand to cover the camel's tracks so does time move to cover the Lord's.
Rejoice for the Lord will taketh his quarter and give much back to his followers.

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