The BIG Question - No. 1: Farting.

Welcome to my fart survey.
Farting is something that we all do, preferably not around me. I thought that we could share some of the important aspects of farting that could, perhaps make some of us who are worried that we are abnormal, are in fact normal.

Please, for balance, any girls (Girlfriend?), let us know your farting habits so that we boys can see the differences. Don't talk nonsense that you don't fart, I have a house of 3 girls - I know better.

The important questions (I will add miy answers later):
How many times a day average?
Can you make yourself fart spontaneously?
How bad do they smell?
Do you like the smell of your own farts?
Has one of your farts ever been to gross even for you?
Ever lit a fart and was there pain?
Do you ever fart in the company of others - boys, mixed company?
Most embarrassing fart - where, how bad?
Sqeakers or ball tearers?
Ever farted so hard you did yourself an injury?
Sharts (shitty farts) - ever done them, where, did you have to dispose of your undies?
What food/s make you fart the most?
What food/s make your farts smell the worst?
How long did you wait before you farted in front of your girlfriend?
Ever farted inside a sealed suit (skindivers/astronauts)?

Come on people - share, just like your farts.

Why did god make farts smell? So deaf people could enjoy them too!

The important questions (I will add miy answers later):
How many times a day average? 10+

Can you make yourself fart spontaneously? Sometimes

How bad do they smell? Comfortingly nasty

Do you like the smell of your own farts? 90% of the time

Has one of your farts ever been to gross even for you? Yes

Ever lit a fart and was there pain? Not that stupid

Do you ever fart in the company of others - boys, mixed company? More often than they realise

Most embarrassing fart - where, how bad? In work catchup meeting with various grades, for non civil service members think, staff, supervisors and managers up to area manager level. Thought it was a small one, quiet but definitely stinking.

Sqeakers or ball tearers? Both

Ever farted so hard you did yourself an injury? I've hurt my ring a few times

Sharts (shitty farts) - ever done them, where, did you have to dispose of your undies? Yep, during a farting competition with my little brother about six years back, forced out a fart and a bit of shit popped out - what was worse was that it was a scout exchange and I was in this lovely old woman's house in America. Quite embarrassingly asked her to hide it in our washing.

What food/s make you fart the most? Anything and everything, but curry with veg is the worst culprit

What food/s make your farts smell the worst? Veg

How long did you wait before you farted in front of your girlfriend? She farted first about an hour after we finished having sex for the first time in the relationship.

Ever farted inside a sealed suit (skindivers/astronauts)? Yep and more.

Thought you guys might be interested in this

This is vile.

Your own brand farts are the best. In the words of Fat Bastard. Anyone who deny's they don't fart underthecovers and enjoy's it is a god dam lier.

Maddox+ women+ farting= clicky

How many times a day average?
10ish

Can you make yourself fart spontaneously?
No.

How bad do they smell?
Pretty bad, depends on what I've ate. Drinking beer and then farting the day after seems to produce the smelliest of farts.

Do you like the smell of your own farts?
No.

Has one of your farts ever been to gross even for you?
Yeah.

Ever lit a fart and was there pain?
Tried, but it didn't work.

Do you ever fart in the company of others - boys, mixed company?
I fart in the company of my mates yeah, not when the ladies are around though
Most embarrassing fart - where, how bad?
School, age 12. Not that bad, I blamed it on the guy sitting next to me.

Sqeakers or ball tearers?
Squeakers haha

Ever farted so hard you did yourself an injury?
No lol

Sharts (shitty farts) - ever done them, where, did you have to dispose of your undies?
Nope haha.

What food/s make you fart the most?
Indians..

What food/s make your farts smell the worst?
Indians..

How long did you wait before you farted in front of your girlfriend?
Don't have one
Ever farted inside a sealed suit (skindivers/astronauts)?
No.

How many times a day average?

Noneish

Can you make yourself fart spontaneously?

No

How bad do they smell?

Relatively obtrusive

Do you like the smell of your own farts?

No

Has one of your farts ever been to gross even for you?

It's a fart....

Ever lit a fart and was there pain?

Probably tried when young, never with success. They're not very flammable, that's an urban myth

Do you ever fart in the company of others - boys, mixed company?

If you have to fart you have to fart...

Most embarrassing fart - where, how bad?

Can't remember

Sqeakers or ball tearers?

Silent

Ever farted so hard you did yourself an injury?

Has anyone ever even come close to such a concept? It's a fart...

Sharts (shitty farts) - ever done them, where, did you have to dispose of your undies?

No

What food/s make you fart the most?

Skink (cabbage and smoked fish soup). The day after a certain scottish festival was memorable...

What food/s make your farts smell the worst?

Skink

How long did you wait before you farted in front of your girlfriend?

If you have to fart you have to fart.

Ever farted inside a sealed suit (skindivers/astronauts)?

No but I've pissed myself in a Ski suit.

( Edited on 09.04.2007 14:38 by Grumbler )

dojo said:
This is vile.

What, you did one so bad that you couldn't finish the post - gross man.

Thank Spongebob they haven't invented smell-o-vision yet!

( Edited on 10.04.2007 12:16 by oldschool )

The important questions (I will add miy answers later):
How many times a day average? 13-15
Can you make yourself fart spontaneously? Yes
How bad do they smell? Medium-average
Do you like the smell of your own farts? Yes
Has one of your farts ever been to gross even for you? No
Ever lit a fart and was there pain? No
Do you ever fart in the company of others - boys, mixed company? Yes
Most embarrassing fart - where, how bad? My most embarrasing fart was in front of my friend Mason. It was in his bedroom and smelled really bad. He laughed tho.
Sqeakers or ball tearers? ball tearers
Ever farted so hard you did yourself an injury? Yes
Sharts (shitty farts) - ever done them, where, did you have to dispose of your undies? No
What food/s make you fart the most? Tacos
What food/s make your farts smell the worst? Tacos
How long did you wait before you farted in front of your girlfriend? I don't have a girlfriend. I'm gay.
Ever farted inside a sealed suit (skindivers/astronauts)? no

Stop using necromancy to bring back meaningless threads! Somebody lock this!

How many times a day average? 10-15
Can you make yourself fart spontaneously? Sometimes
How bad do they smell? Mostly rancid
Do you like the smell of your own farts? Don't every1?
Has 1 of your farts ever been to gross even for you? No
Ever lit a fart and was there pain? Lit, yes. Pain, no
Do you ever fart in the company of others - boys, mixed company? Constantly
Most embarrassing fart - where, how bad? In the church where me and the missus were becoming godparents to our friends' little boy, smelt BAD
Sqeakers or ball tearers? Squeakers make me laugh
Ever farted so hard you did yourself an injury? No
Sharts (shitty farts) - ever done them, where, did you have to dispose of your undies? Had food poisoning once and had severe diarrhoea, I kept sitting on the loo to fart cos I was scared but the one time I thought ''fuck it, i'll chance it'' it all went wrong!
It was more water than anything else but it felt MINGING, undies went in bin lol
What food/s make you fart the most? I find Mars bars work best
What food/s make your farts smell the worst? And again
How long did you wait before you farted in front of your girlfriend? About a month or so, she only let one slip about 2 months ago, we've been together over 4 years
Ever farted inside a sealed suit (skindivers/astronauts)? Farted in a wetsuit shortie when I was kayaking in Bala (Wales) that was pretty cool, felt it go all the way up my back and out at my neck lol

Why is Buffy banned again?

Keven said:
Why is Buffy banned again?

The OP being banned gives me even less reason to let this 2 year old thread live

g_asking, please don't revive ancient topics without sufficient reason.

Locked.