(Fictional musing) Who would you kill - who, why and how?
Off Topic

In light of the near mortal wounding of free speech in the case of Samina Malik (in England), dig deep into the evil and twisted side of yourself and discuss who you would like to kill (or group of people), why they deserve it and how you would do it.

Keep in mind MI5 and the CIA/FBI are probably reading this, so be careful. Also, if you are an American, don't talk about killing the President, it will land you in court.

I am not an American, so I am going with the killing of President George Dubya Bush.

If there is one person on the planet right now who deserves to die, it is him. Of course, I am a pacifist, so I would never commit an act of violence - but he could tempt me As George is just a puppet for the real bosses he reports to, I would have to kill a bigger number of them, when they are consulting and instructing him.

With the responsibility of thousands of dead Iraquis to start with, there is plenty of reasons. Torturing prisoners is another good one. Killing the planet for profit is another. Being elected through vote rigging, twice would also be high on the list, especially when he lectures others on democracy.

I wouldn't want him to die quickly, that would be too easy. I would ensure that I knew the places most likely to have him and his puppet masters. Remember, this is fiction and of course, I couldn't access the required materials. I would plant bombs with depleted uranium in a number of these locations and wait for the right time, months of waiting if necessary. Assuming the bomb didn't kill him (which is the plan), then the fallout from what is effectively, a dirty bomb, would riddle him with disease so that he suffered a long and painful death - plenty of time for him to talk to his god.

So, who is in touch with their dark side? Who are we secretly fantasising the death of? Who is brave enough to tell?

PS: quick one - Uwe Boll, for making such awful films should be sleep deprived and made to keep watching his own work, over and over until he dies of exhaustion and guilt:cooldude:

Hitler. Someone seriously needs to stop that guy.

My brother. If anybody ever deserved a Meat Cleaver in the head....

Meh, I'd probably hire a hitman to do it for me.

The guy that invented computer viruses. And the guy that invented homework. I would kill them by MP44 machine gun or a trenchgun!

The Daila Lama. Goes around the world, one day he's in Germany, the next in Thailand, then the USA, in an AIRPLANE, burning huge amounts of kerosine, telling politicians and other peorple we should "be gentle with the earth"!

What a hypocrite.

I am sure you could someone in the Chinese Government to do it for you. I am pretty sure that they are good at what they do.



You gotta love siblings Surely you are inventive enough to do it for yourself aren't you. My older brother literally tortured me as children - he would find spiders and earwigs and put them in my bed. Arsehole, haven't spoken to him for 16 years and am planning to start.

The chinese would have to send in a team of their best martial artists to defeat the Lama, he is no doubt trained in the art of Shaolin. It would be a terrific battle to witness.

Is he tough enough to take on Jet Li (Lian Ji Lee)???????



I saw him in Hero and damn, I don't think anyone could kick his arse:cooldude: Dude, he can fly and everything. btw, I loved that film

Sonic The Hedgehog- for being formerly really awesome, and then ruining all that with a string of rubbish games. Or the CEO of Sammy. Either.

Every single one of my brother's noisy friends. With a bullet through their head. Quick, easy, and no more noise.

My goodness, Oldschool. My mouth was gaped open the whole time reading your post. Do you often fantasize about the exact ways to murder people?

Aww, it's not Sonic's fault, it's Sonic Team's fault.

I reckon Mario could beat Jet Li

I'd like to kill you, yes you reading this right now. I'm gonna sneak up on you when you least suspect it and guts u like a fishy! mwhahahahaha! Hey, and leave Hitler alone, did u not hear what Mel Gibbson said? ITS THE JEWS FAULT!

I would nearly like to also kill Mario. Like Sonic, Mario has stained his once 100% awesomeness by appearing in a string of crap games. However, unlike Sonic's, Mario's string of crap games have been capped off with the traditional one game per gen, and obviously particularly 'Galaxy. He's a total whore these days, but saves himself from assassination via still occasionally starring in really amazing games.



Yeah, Oldschool is scary. I told you he wasn't normal. What with his history of guerrilla activity 'against the man' on C3, and now this- actually hatching a proper thought-out scheme to kill President Bush. He's also convinced that President Bush is really just a puppet, being strung along by some super-secret 'real government'. This are behaviors and thought-patterns which are commonly exhibited by insane-psycho-stalker-murderers, Oldschool.

Seek help

Oni, that was completely unnecessary and unprovoked.

Oldschool, this may be of interest to you:

Clickety

I was only joking

Hero is the worst film I've ever seen. Jet Li is a bellend.

If you hear a knock on the door Oldschool I'd advise you peek through the curtains before answering. Best do that for the next few months, lest you want to end up in Guantanamo.

The Queen or any member of the "royal" family.

Vin Diesel and 50 cent, there evil must be stopped.

Jade Raymond. She's only got a job at Ubisoft so that they can use her in the advertising, as some sort of 'object of desire', and make pathetic nerds feel that if they buy her game, they somehow get closer to touching her. She earns her living via being pretty. Nothing else. Which enrages me some what. It must be infuriating to be a programmer working on 'her games'. You get no credit.

I hope she becomes horribly-scarred and dis-figured in some sort of house fire, or getting slapped about by her boyfriend. She'll not only have the misery of not being beautiful anymore, but she'll also lose her job, as Ubisoft will have no use for an ugly bit of gash. That's not death though, I suppose.

Well hey, either way, she'll get old. It's not like she'll be able to have a job like that in ten years in all likelyhood.

Prostitutes around the Ipswich area.

EDIT - My original was linked to more recent news, but I think everyone would take it too seriously, PM me if you wish to have a laugh over it...

( Edited on 19.11.2007 10:48 by K i n )

I'm thinking about one right now

Come on Jacob, lighten up, get in touch with your dark side. My one was a stream of conscious thought, I hadn't planned what to say until I typed it - I am that twisted

You're a Christian, you guys have world's best practice in this game - the inquisitions, holy wars. Don't you want to go all biblical on someone? Just read the bible again for inspiration. There has to be a Sodom out there somewhere you want to smite






Actually GR, I took it as a joke also and didn't take offence at it. It was a piece of fiction for those who do take things seriously and Oni didn't appear to.


I'll have to have a chat to David Hicks about it

The Chaser radio show in Australia once called the CIA head office and asked about tips on assassinating a world leader as they seemed to be pretty good at it. He then said that he was planning to assassinate George Bush. They didn't see the funny side and got very angry at him.

On their television show, they went to the Chinese embassy and asked them to pay for a bullet as they were planning to assassinate the Chinese President (a play on executions in China where they send a charge to the family of the executed for the cost of the bullets). They didn't see the funny side of that.

I'm guessing that I am on file now and will never get a visa to enter the USA


That is why Australians love the Irish so much - they are officially our favourite people. SO, were you lurking in any French tunnels in the 90's???? Could you start with Harry for me, stupid git


I'm too afraid

Ah, well nice to see you two getting along then