Seventh Sword: Avenging the Throne: 18)
Back in the ’60s, British television seemed to be flooded with badly dubbed European TV series. At first sight, Seventh Sword: Avenging the Throne, released on DVD this week, appears to be a nostalgic nod in their direction. Except it’s not dubbed. Just bad.
In medieval Europe, the five survivors of a savage battle are making their way home. They stop at a castle run by a local nobleman and stay the night before starting the final leg of their journey. However, they are strangely unwelcome and, once outside the confines of the castle, they find they are fleeing for their lives.
In truth, the plot is a lot less straightforward than that, as there’s a beautiful but silent woman mixed up in it as well. ‘All over the place’ is a better description. This is a film that clearly sees itself in the Ridley Scott mould – the opening scenes are very much reminiscent of Gladiator – but it doesn’t have the talent or anything else to get close. It doesn’t have the budget either, but there are so many instances of good films made on a shoestring that a lack of money is no excuse. It’s much closer to Monty Python and the Holy Grail than Kingdom of Heaven, but with one significant difference: the Python movie was intentionally funny.
First time director Raymond Mizzi may want to consider a return to film school after this effort. The direction is plodding and clumsy, the dialogue truly leaden, and the acting so wooden that the splinters are on full show. The mysteriously silent Adormidera (also the title of the film outside of the UK) is spared the effort of trying to make the dialogue sound realistic or convincing. Not that the rest of the cast put in much effort either: they speak their lines as if they can’t wait to get off the set.
The fight scenes towards the end of the movie are no better, so slow that they can hardly be called action. They are as unexciting as the rest of the film, badly choreographed, and the whole idea of the five soldiers fighting against a small army of 50 is ludicrous. By the time the final battle comes along, the story has long run out of steam and it looks like the director just wants to bring the film to an end as quickly as possible. Anybody watching will have been wishing that for some time!
