Sims are generally split into two distinct camps. On one side, there are the obsessively realistic ones such as Microsoft Flight Simulator or Farming Simulator that recreate every switch, button and spreadsheet imaginable, turning all sorts of high-skilled professions into compelling, digital hobbies. The other side embraces complete absurdity, taking mundane concepts and adding supernatural horror, bizarre humour, or outright insanity like in Goat Simulator and Surgeon Simulator. Meat Grinder by Panic Panda firmly belongs to the latter category. It starts by asking you to run a humble hot dog stand, then casually suggests the local cemetery as a wholesale supplier.
Meh…as business plans go, it’s probably still more ethical than some corporations.
The gameplay heart of Meat Grinder is surprisingly straightforward. Running a hot dog stand is a satisfying little routine that never becomes overly complicated. Grind meat, grill sausages, slice buns, fry potatoes, add some sauce and maybe a soda drink. It’s all handled via simple WASD and mouse controls, and the customers are the exact opposite of “in a hurry,” so you’ll never ever feel overwhelmed. From the very first second in, this critic’s PTSD kicked in and did everything as fast as possible, which is the wrong way to play. The clock isn’t ticking and it’s almost impossible to mess things up.
Tedious? Sure, yet there’s something relaxing about repeating these simple tasks while slowly upgrading your business. It scratches the same itch as many other cooking and management simulators…except something feels wrong, even before the hero sets foot in the (way too) calm town of Grimshore. An old man (who may or may not be real) appears and forces him to go the cemetery, dig up a grave and put what he found in the grinder. The good news? As long as he can avoid the single-digit IQ police officers that patrol the area, no one will ask him questions.
Weirdly enough, the darker mechanics are actually optional. While the story encourages night-time excursions to deal with supply shortages…there rarely are supply shortages – which is a shame, really. It would be nice if there was some pressure on the player to be a bad boy. One can happily focus on serving customers, cleaning the shop and enjoying the loop without caring about the gory side of it all. If you choose to embrace the dark side? Well, the horror itself is less intense than the premise suggests. Chopping down a corpse is more shocking in text than in practice.
Grimshore certainly looks eerie, with its fog, abandoned streets, and wonderfully nostalgic, grimy, low-poly graphics that immediately evoke PlayStation classics such as Silent Hill. Unfortunately, while the atmosphere constantly hints that something terrible lurks around every corner, Meat Grinder never really delivers. It’s creepy enough to make you glance over your shoulder for about five minutes or so, but nothing more than that. For a game involving midnight grave robbing, it could have afforded to be considerably less polite.
The otherwise good-looking setting at hand ends up feeling somewhat underutilised. This looks like a place filled with secrets, hidden stories, and strange encounters waiting to be discovered. In reality, there isn’t much to do beyond following the main objectives. The developer mentions that exploration will reward curiosity with side quests, but none were found after three separate playthroughs. The town’s eerie emptiness certainly contributes to the experience, but eventually it starts feeling less like deliberate isolation and more like the council forgot to fund the rest of it.
The story (which revolves around the dark past of the main character) wraps up much sooner than expected. Within roughly 90 minutes, most will reach the conclusion of the main narrative, after which the game simply allows operating the whole hot dog business indefinitely. Apparently, dealing with personal demons takes less time than mastering the art of adding ketchup and mustard on sausages. The important bit is that, while the loop remains enjoyable, it won’t take long to realise what is the worst thing about Meat Grinder: there’s bafflingly little room for experimentation.
After a while you’ll get bored. What’s left to do then? Why not fill the store with corpses? Oh, no one bats an eye. Hmm, maybe start scaring people with the chainsaw? Nuh, this doesn’t work either. Oh, you’ll love this one. The protagonist has just discovered a very big, very sausage looking…err, thing in the toilet. Time to make a very spicy hot dog! Darn it, no can do. The premise practically begs for escalating madness. Instead, it keeps things relatively sensible, which feels like an odd choice for a game whose business model begins with desecrating graves.
Okay, despite its severe limitations, Meat Grinder does succeed as an ultra-niche experience. It’s a very entertaining game (for the handful of hours it lasts), and will please both those who like cosy games as well as fans of the lo-fi horror scene, even if it’s not scary at all. The best thing about it is probably how it never takes itself too seriously, balancing gruesome subject matter with an almost cheerful sense of absurdity. Before long you’re worrying less about committing crimes against humanity and more about whether you’ve overcooked the fries. Self-employment can really change your world view!
