Haydee 3 (PC) Review

So, you are a newcomer, who wants to know what the fuss is all about this weird p@#n game is? Well, no p@#n for you sadly, as Haydee 3 is a third-person shooter and action-adventure that blends the style of platforming that was common in titles like Tomb Raider, with a survival horror-esque approach to its scarcity of resources and all-around oppressive mood, with the main goal being escaping a facility that's basically a puzzle-filled maze. Those who have missed out on Haydee and Haydee 2 can go straight to this one, as it basically combines elements from both - although it would help having some experience with those first, as it is very old school-tough, unapologetically cryptic, and the polar opposite of handholding when it comes to its design philosophy. Not to mention that the previous games were great. Oh, yes, the character also rocks some fine, wobbly milkers, and her thighs and behinds provide enough incentive to keep on playing after your 50th death. If a fan of the franchise, you know all this already, and just want to see what's different this time around. In all honesty, not much…

This feels a lot like an expansion of the second title, with some additional mechanics here and there. Once again Haydee, or more specifically, this Haydee (don't ask) is thrown into an industrial complex that has the same art style of the one in Haydee 2, just with a lot more detail. The heroine is tasked with escaping this place, a process that revolves around exploring a world for key items that enable opening more paths, with a bit of puzzle-solving and - lots of - combat sprinkled around. Haydee herself has changed a bit, putting aside her previous, cybernetic and supermodel styles, and embracing a more tactical line of fashion, which is pretty neat, and will please those who don't like seeing much skin (all four of you). There's the option to change parts of her appearance, but it's a shame the developer didn't include a couple of additional outfits, with the modders once again being left to do the heavy lifting.

…But the biggest disappointment is the lack of any real updates and additions. This is basically Haydee 2.5, with pretty much the same controls, weapons, items, and overall mechanics. It even retains the same small flaws, like how there's almost no feedback when bullets hit something, how the camera is still way too close, how some areas are annoyingly dark, and so on and forth. Only two new enemies have been added to the tiny roster (as well as a boss), and they don't evolve the gameplay that much, with the first being a zombie that spits acid, and the second one being an ultra-busty, ultra-pregnant, and ultra-unsettling suicide-bomber type monster.

The only true change here, if you can call it that, is that this release takes the exploration style of the second game, and throws in some of the platforming that could be done in the first one. The heroine can now side or back jump while hanging from a ledge or even reach a higher platform, which adds another neat layer to the platforming puzzles - yet while the return of platforming is great, as it was one of the best things of the original title, sadly the world itself doesn't take advantage of its new mechanics as much as it should, and occasionally platforming sessions even include false routes that trap Haydee into a position of no return. Ok, unrelenting difficulty was always part of the series' DNA, but this leans a bit too much on aggravating trial-and-error.

While platforming and exploration can annoy at times, its combat where things start to get really irritating. While still not an action game by any means, this is definitely the most battle-heavy entry in the trilogy, with enemy ambushes being way more common. Unfortunately, not in a way that's always enjoyable, the reason being that enemy placement frequently comes off as very cheap, with foes appearing from areas you didn't even expect, in tight places that give you no room to move, and with them still not making a sound while they walk towards Haydee, making it hard to "read" the battlefield and know how close they are. By comparison, in Haydee one could predict where something bad would spawn, simply by observing the room, or by peeking around the corner.

Haydee 3 is still a very good game and will mostly please those who have played the previous instalments… but it's also a missed opportunity to provide the best one yet. This could mix the awesome platforming and exploration-heavy style of the first one, with the more approachable, metroidvania style and richer world-building of the sequel. It could refine some of its systems, and smooth out its rough edges. It could add more weapons, enemies, and hazards. It could be the definitive Haydee experience. This isn't what this does, however. As mentioned before, this feels more like an expansion rather than a truly new game, whereas the change from the first to the second one was more than noticeable.

In other words, this is just another Haydee, or more Haydee if you will. It's better at what came before in some ways, worse in - many - others, and that's about it. It's very good, and fans of the franchise should play it, even though few will prefer it over the previous entries. The rest are advised to wait for a good discount. This is the third in a line of very niche games, that are simply not made for everyone, but they can be extremely enjoyable with the right mindset. It's just that this one at hand isn't worth the current asking price. Having said all that, this critic has his fingers crossed in hope for a Haydee 4…