Neoverse Trinity Edition (Nintendo Switch) Review

Neoverse opens up with a chaotic introductory cut-scene that supposedly explains what is going on here. It doesn't. This small intermission is just there to show off the three sexy lasses available, as they hack, slash, shoot, blast, through lots of bad guys. The scrolling text in the title screen does a better job at explaining things, but it also makes it clear that the story - and grammar - isn't the focus here. In other words, don't bother reading about how humanity created a time-space incident that has created a dimensional salad, where all possible timelines and universes are bundled together. This is just an excuse to pit players against monsters, robots, aliens, creatures of middle earth, Spartan soldiers (six-packs and all), vampires, and freaking Cthulhu, amongst others.

The most impressive thing about Neoverse is that it is quite the meaty package. Never mind the generic, "sexy-MMO gals" character design, or the extremely forgettable bestiary - there's actually lots of depth here. Starting with the three ladies, each one focuses on a different combat style. The Kasumi rip-off, for instance, the typical ninja cutie of the team, is the aggressive fighter, while… err Curvy Healer #3067, or whatever her name is, summons creatures to support her in a variety of ways. Even better? You get to pick amongst a few sets of starting cards, which enable choosing an even more specific way of playing, so, when it comes to the ninja heroine, for example, one can focus in gunplay that builds a dangerous overheat meter, or prefer the set that lets her inflict some radiation poisoning at her foes.

Upon diving into the actual, turn-based arena, you are showered with possibilities. Players receive a deck of cards with a variety of abilities, which force them to pay attention at what does what, which combinations are the best, or suit their playstyle. There are consumable items to equip; objectives to complete and get rewards for; a skill tree to spend those hard-to-earn skill points on; an always-available shop to buy stuff with the accumulated gold; buffs and debuffs; a colour-coded combo meter that powers-up the character when a specific array of cards is used; and many, many more. Trouble is, all these are thrown at you, in a cluttered, convoluted mess of a user interface, which is far from welcoming.

No, this isn't really a tough ordeal the likes of Slay the Spire, Neoverse's big, and more popular brother. Create the right combination of cards, and the girl of your choice will become an overpowered demigoddess. Plus, it's not really that hard to understand what all those weird icons and numbers that fill the screen mean. It would be much preferable, though, if players were eased in on the mechanics at hand, rather than being thrown into the fray, and getting such an information overload right from the very beginning, and with a text size that is, without any exaggeration, painful to your eyes if used to playing in handheld mode. It's also hard to avoid speaking about how boring this looks. A fantasy title revolving around sexy babes fighting creatures that belong in the realm of high fantasy, mythology, sci-fi, horror, and more, should be the coolest ever. It isn't, though…

Unfortunately, this looks like those dime-a-dozen smartphone titles and MMORPGs, with its female cast being comprised of curvy, yet forgettable supermodels, and enemies looking as if they came straight out of a free bundle of 3D models for amateur developers to play with. Not bad, just uninspired. Technically things are even worse. Not only this is a downgrade from the original, PC version, but it also tends to fire up the Switch's processor as if this is DOOM Eternal, or something, with the framerate frequently dropping considerably, and in what is a simple turn-based title.

Of course, all those don't really matter if something is fun. Well, is Neoverse Trinity Edition fun? The short answer: yes, yes it is. For how long, however? As mentioned earlier there's a considerable depth to be found within - the challenge is quite low, though, and this sort of lacks the element of progress. Yes, there are higher difficulty modes to try out, but in the end this will soon start to feel the same after a couple of playthroughs - a chore, rather than a riveting ordeal. To be honest, the only way this will challenge you will be through the caprices of the RNG, and what it will throw towards you. In conclusion, while definitely an enjoyable, and at times addicting experience, the fun won't last for long - and no, being able to unlock sexy swimsuit and schoolgirl costumes for the heroines isn't enough.

Probably…